When We Were Friends: A Journey Through Flawed Friendships and Self-Discovery
As a long-time fan of Holly Bourne’s work, I was both excited and slightly apprehensive about diving into When We Were Friends (originally titled Girl Friends in the UK). Bourne has a remarkable ability to weave narratives that resonate, even for readers who might not share the exact experiences of her characters. This new release promises the same captivating exploration of friendship and self-overcoming that has characterized her other novels. And let me tell you: it doesn’t disappoint.
At the heart of When We Were Friends is Fern, a thirty-one-year-old woman whose life seems to have taken a promising turn. She’s coping with her past, training to become a counselor, and even in a loving relationship with her boyfriend, Ben—who might just pop the question any day now. However, the sudden reappearance of her childhood friend Jessica, a whirlwind of chaos and nostalgia, forces Fern to reevaluate everything she thought she knew about friendship and herself.
Bourne masterfully captures the tension between nostalgia and reality, particularly in the evolving relationship between Fern and Jessica. As they navigate their past—full of messy memories, self-harm, and insecurity—we feel the weight of Fern’s ambivalence. It’s here that Bourne does something extraordinary: she makes us root for an imperfect protagonist. Fern is relatable in her flaws and misgivings, allowing readers to empathize deeply even when her thoughts make us cringe. This evokes a sense of urgency to unravel not just Fern’s story, but also the quiet narrative of womanhood that so many of us have lived.
The alternating chapters between present-day Fern and her younger self add a richness that kept me turning pages late into the night. Reading about younger Fern, who confronts the typical insecurities of adolescence, particularly hit home. Bourne deftly illustrates the awkwardness of teenage girlhood, whether through relatable moments of trying to appear "cool" or the crushing weight of self-doubt reflected in a boy’s glance. It’s not just a narrative of growth, but also a poignant reminder that we’re all still learning to navigate these complexities, even into adulthood.
One of the standout elements of When We Were Friends is its honest depiction of relationships—particularly the platonic love that bonds women. While Fern’s relationship with Ben is a central plot point, it’s her friendship with Jessica that drives the emotional core of the story. Bourne emphasizes that female friendships can be just as intense and complex as romantic ones, filled with moments of fierce love and equally fierce hurt. This resonates deeply with me, as a reader who can often relate more to platonic ties than romantic entanglements.
The nuanced portrayal of male characters also deserves a nod. While many men in the story display varying degrees of toxicity, Bourne balances this with a recognition of their complexities. Ben, for instance, genuinely strives to support Fern, but his perspective diverges from hers and adds further emotional depth to the narrative. This dynamic illustrates not just the struggles within patriarchy, but also how individual experiences shape relationships, which I found incredibly insightful.
In the end, When We Were Friends will resonate with anyone who has ever navigated complicated friendships or faced the challenge of reconciling their past with their present. Bourne’s writing is both relatable and thought-provoking, inviting us into a world where imperfection is the norm and connection—be it platonic or romantic—remains at the heart of life’s journey.
If you’ve ever felt torn between who you were and who you want to be, or if you appreciate a good exploration of female friendships, this book is definitely for you. For me, reading this novel felt like a warm conversation with an old friend, reminding me that—even amidst chaos and confusion—there’s beauty in the messiness of life.
So grab a copy of When We Were Friends and prepare to be swept away—it’s a journey well worth taking!